Swim.
Without direction.
I mean, it’s better than sinking still into stills of the past.
My mistakes have made me who I am.
And no one knows how far I’ve come because of God.
No.
Peers just bite, bite, bite, fight, light light cigarettes and laugh.
At least I’m swimming.
Depression and suicide attempts tried to take that away.
//
I was sleeping, on the deep end
Overthinking, eyes open no blinking
In love with fear and it’s hands around my neck
Victim, always a victim
You can’t help but surrender, smoothie thoughts, blender
Trap upon trap, lap after lap, nightmares every nap, entertained enemies clap
They say if you weren’t so fat, if you weren’t so black, if you would kindly take your handgun and call it a wrap but I’d rather swim.
///
///
I’m here but I’m not here
These illusions pop and sparkle wildly
Wrapping feet with thorns what a trip
Ankles give and the will to live is tested
Invested some time you guessed it
Taking seriously the humor discarding rumors
Through suffering learn coordination, movements
Improvements leading to better choices
Fine tuning outer and inner voices
To swim.
RawEmotionDough 